Which relationship has taught you the most about yourself?
View all responses
I can’t think of how to answer this one. Maybe I’ll just waffle 😀. All relationships probably teach us about ourselves, but I’m not the sort of person who jots down what I learn about myself 😀.
So what relationships have I had? There’s my relationship with God. The chief lesson there is that I’m a sinner, but He loves me, and He sent His Son to die to save me. But what does that tell me about myself as opposed to everyone else in the world?
Maybe I could think of myself as special. I can think of a little chorus about that – but it’s not just about me. It’s about all believers – and the offer of salvation goes out to the whole world. There is the predestination/free will debate. But whatever side you take, the offer still goes out to everyone.
But what do relationships teach me about myself? All human relationships involve elements of tension and tolerance. As as child, I’d fight with friends and stop talking to them for a period. Maybe that taught me that I was a little intolerant. But I also got on with friends and perserved despite disputes. It’s the same with family. I remember running away from home as a child. I took my schoolbag and went to a local phonebox to do my homework. Someone was in the phonebox, so I decided to go back to my garden to do my homework. And my mother opened the door and welcomed me home. My absence only lasted about an 20 minutes. My mother didn’t stop me from running away because she knew I’d come back 😀. I think that I might have been around six or seven at the time.
I’ve been married for 38 years. From the time that I met my wife, I didn’t really yearn for any other close friends. Maybe that tells me that I’m a bit of an introvert. I’ve had plenty of friends at work, church etc., but since meeting my wife, she became the person I spend most time with, and I could say the same about my kids.
So what have all these relationships taught me about myself? I can’t really say. I’d like to have very direct feedback from God – or have an angel appear outlining what He thinks of my progress and what He’d like me to change. I don’t have that, but I have the Bible. Whenever I read it, I’m reminded of my sin, but also, the promise of mercy. One of my favourite passages of the Scripture is the parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector.
Luke 18:9-14
9 To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: 10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’
13 “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’
14 “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
I can think like the Pharisee, or the tax collector, but the parable teaches me what God expects of me. He expects me to be humble and acknowledge my dependence on Him. I do thank God that I’m not like some other people, but maybe if I was from their background or in the same circumstances, I’d be as bad as them or worse.
Maybe most of your learning happens in the early years of your life – so in that sense, I could answer “my relationship with my parents”. And though I differ from my parents in my theological outlook (they were Roman Catholic), they were hugely influential in pointing me to God. I do remember my mother telling me that she thought that I was the sort of person who might become a priest. I didn’t become a Roman Catholic priest, but in the New Testament, all believers are called priests. And I did become a Baptist missionary at one stage, so she wasn’t far off 😀. But there isn’t a heavy emphasis on clerical offices in the New Testament. All believers serve God. I can see how people were more dependent on teachers before we had the Bible, but even then, ordinary believers were involved in spreading the faith and encouraging each other.
1 Peter 2:9
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light
Revelation 1:5-6
To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood, 6 and has made us to be a kingdom and priests to serve his God and Father—to him be glory and power for ever and ever! Amen.
