Perhaps the term “self-confidence” can have various meanings. For example, if you live in a rough area, nasty violent people have a high status. If you come from a nice family, people will probably see you as a bit of a softie. But you shouldn’t worry about it if such people think little of you. What count is how God sees you, and how kind, just, and loving people see you.
The funny thing is, when I started reading the New Testament, I realized how short of God’s standards I fell. I had no reason to be confident before God. But God wants us to acknowledge our failure and reach out to him for salvation. And, when we repent and believe in Jesus, we have the confidence of knowing that Jesus paid for our sins on Calvary. And we’re welcomed into God’s family. So, our confidence is in our Saviour rather than in ourselves. Still, when we view some level of progress in holiness, it can help us to feel confident that God is at work in our lives.
Apart from purely spiritual matters, I think the best way to build self-confidence is to try things and gain experience. And we can learn from our mistakes. Its not good if we instinctively avoid things. I remember back in 1980, someone asked me if I’d give my testimony in church – a short talk telling how I came to commit my life to Christ. I said “no” because I was nervous about speaking in public. But I did it about a year later and went on to speak in many churches around Ireland. I spoke in London too, but only in a couple of little mission halls 😀. And I did in back in 1988 when our Baptist church was chosen for the Sunday service radio broadcast on national radio. Someone told me that about 100,000 listened. I got little feedback. A friend told me that his friends in Wales heard me and found my accent amusing 😀.
But you can also lose your confidence. I remember speaking in a small church once and feeling strangely dizzy. I lost my concentration. After that, it took time before I was confident enough to speak in other churches. But again, it’s better to face your fears. As a listener, I’ve heard amazingly great speakers, but I also heard ordinary people who struggled. But they were all a blessing to be. When you think of the people that your warm to, how many of them are full of self-confidence? Some perhaps, but confident people can be a little annoying too 😀.
One of my favourite hymns is “And Can it Be” by Charles Wesley. I remember being puzzled by the following line:
Bold I approach the eternal throne, and claim the crown through Christ my own.
I initially thought that it sounded a little arrogant. But the point being made is that we no longer need to be afraid of God. We aren’t approaching the throne in our own merits. It’s all because of what Christ has done for us.
Hebrews 4:16
Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
I’ll close with a couple of secular songs and a couple of hymns about confidence. I’m very happy to use secular resources as well as spiritual resources. That’s why I’ve read a few books on Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). Some Christians sneer at secular sources for mental health. But if we’re happy to use secular resources for physical health, why not mental health? It’s true that you’ll hear silly things, but you can hear silly things said in Christian circles too. You need to be confident enough to discern what’s true and helpful:
Hibernia Gospel 