Toxic

Daily writing prompt

What is a word you feel that too many people use?

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I’m not really sure how to answer this one 😀. One word that I find a bit annoying is toxic. Properly used, it applies to dangerous chemicals etc., but I’ve noticed on LinkedIn that people post things such as “Ten Signs That You Work Environment is Toxic“. Then, they list examples such as your boss being too demanding. So, you’re expected to conclude “Oh my goodness, my environment is toxic.” But why do you need the word toxic? Don’t you already know how pleasant or unpleasant your environment is?

Anywhere that you get people, you’ll get good behaviour and bad behaviour. Some people are annoying all the time. Others might be nice but might just be having a bad day. Maybe someone else is putting a lot of pressure on them. And we’re all capable of annoying others

The same sort of thing happens in churches. Leaders need to be on the lookout for people who are downright heretics and might be seeking to use the church as a platform to lead others astray, or people whose behaviour is downright dangerous. But even in normal relationships, little tensions and conflicts will develop. It’s a shame when people leave churches because they don’t get on with someone, or because someone has been too bossy pr demanding or whatever.

I would advise people to make friends if you want to make friends, but decide for yourself how involved you want to get in a church. Years ago, when I used to be a Roman Catholic, I’d go to mass, and it was a bit like going to the cinema. You might spot someone you know, but most days you wouldn’t speak to anyone at all. Then, in evangelical churches, which were generally smaller, people were much friendlier and more involved with each other. However, in such environments, you’ll more often get conflicts, splits etc., especially when you get a lot of zealous people with “vision” and strong opinions.

My ideal church is an evangelical church where you have plenty of freedom to choose how involved to be at any given point. That might upset some, who’ll quote Jesus asking people to “love one another”, but in my view, loving others means giving them freedom, rather than trying to control them and getting them all to fall into line with what you consider to be the behaviour of a “loving” church. I suspect that most of the appeals to love and unity in the New Testament weren’t meant for gentle introverts, but for loud, obnoxious, controlling people who are prone to create disputes. The church would have got nowhere is such people predominated. Both Jesus and the apostle Paul heavily criticized those who sought to control others, such as the Pharisees and the Judaizers. You obviously need broad consensus about sound doctrine and acceptable behavior, but for the specifics, people should feel free.

I think that a good church has a nice balance of personality types who respect each other.

Romans 14:19
“Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.”

Romans 16:17-18
I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites.

So you don’t want your church to become toxic 😀.